What a looooong strange trip it's been or...

....we loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly!

Swimming pools, movie stars. Richard Gere, Stanley Tucci, Ralph Loren and that evil Martha Stewart are our neighbors. We even have a see ment pond!  Golly gee, Jethro!

It's been such a long time and so much has happened. But nothing really ridiculous to write home about. Or here. I'm stuck on a Delta flight to Denver and have the opportunity and solitude to catch you up. 

We have a new sister for Zazzy and ililiSit!  Her name is Zelda and she's a black Afghan Hound. She's quite lovely and delicate, the opposite of you-know-who. And she's truly a blessing. She came from a tragic circumstance and the inhumane breeder severed her vocal chords so she can't bark. She tries, but nothing much ruminates from her little mouth. Heartbreaking. Fucking assholes. 

But she's the sweetest, gentlest, cuddly-est little girl anyone might dream to have on their couch. She was so frightened when she first arrived 27 April, 2013, that she cowered with her tail between her legs. She had been a kennel dog which means she was in an outdoor run all day then in a cage alone at night. It didn't take her long at all to warm up to me and the first night she gave me little kisses and rolled on her side and gave me gentle taps with her paw that meant she wanted a tummy massage. What a sweetie!

Mr. Zazoo took to her immediately and they sat together on the big bed by that first evening. ililiSit! was too friendly and way to nosey, which is her style, sort of like a New Yorker, and Miss Zelda had to put her in her place. Quite comical actually. Silly lili didn't get it at first. 

So, we're up in Beverly Glen with an Olympic-sized pool and a great fenced-in area around it that has to be a half acre.  When I called them in one day, Zazzy moseyed on over but silli lili wouldn't budge. Zelda herded her back to me! Damn, she's the best. Now lili flies back to me on the first call. 

Speaking of naughtiness, during a brief thaw, the bitches dug their way through the mud and under the heavily- fortressed fence. Sommabitch! It's a wooden 3 tier corral with 1x6's, a 2" square metal fence and chicken wire extended to 7-8 feet, depending on what part of the fence.  

As I've said before, praise Allah for Tagg.com. If it wasn't for Mr. Zazoo and his "mommy, mommy, Timmy fell down the well" bark and my iPhone with said gps tracking app, we all would have been up the proverbial creek sans paddle. I was able to get them home safely where the little bitches were so pooped that they both flopped in lilili's crate for a deep snore. 

So, we had the white boy come to add another 500$ plus labour of 1x6's around the bottom. That pissed off lili to no end. She was damned if she couldn't find a way out. Gopher. 

More about the see-ment pond: it was so cold that the accumulated snow froze on the cover and the bitches had a scating rink. They had a blast running and sliding and silli lili would downward dawg across the pool. Mr. Z was too damn sophisticated to get in on all the fun. He sat elegantly and gazed at the ninnies in disbelief. 

ililiSit!'s a little instigator. At first I thought the black kids were picking on her. This only happened outside when they horse

around. They nip and growl and it looks like a big commotion. I always break it up but one day I silently observed from a close distance. She actually egged them on, the little witch, and there I was, a Mama who felt sorry for her and I had deprived them of their monkeyshines. 

So, you might be thinking, Denver? What the...? Not Istanbul, Palermo, Marrakech or Dubai? Denver? Yes, Denver. As in SophieNo! territory. I'm going to meet her in a few and see why her Mama keeps trying to send her to me for a visit. Little does she know, I have silli Lilli and I'm dropping HER to visit SophieNo! 

Well, not really. I'm picking up 2 Afghan Puppies who have been rescued from deplorable conditions. A mini lili and a mini Zelly. Woohoo!

New babies returning from LGA. More later...I hope. Inshallah. 

Be careful what you wish for...

...or a how to divert a morning of disaster.


Lately, there have been way too many Afghan Hounds and sight hounds running away and staying away in this great big nation of ours. Facebook is the perfect medium to spread the word. But to an anxious Afghan Mama of two, it's made me even more apprehensive. And anxious. So anxious that I've recently purchased a gps tracking collar for each Mötley Monkey.

They were charged up, activated and placed on their collars yesterday morning. When Zaz and I marched, it sent me an SMS stating he left the home zone. Cool.

We have had record-breaking mild weather this Winter. Man, Mother Nature heard my prayers. Finally. A wet snow day in October then another of about an inch that melted the same day in January. Blessed.

It's been really warm. So warm that daffodils and crocus are everywhere. A fog rolled in over the water at dusk so I knew we were in for some weather. Sweet Lucile texted a weather update. Colder, rain, possible thunder and high winds. I do love a good thunder and lightening storm and I love to hear the wind howl. The drama of it makes me feel alive and invigorated.

Ok. So the winds came and are still here this morning. Bright and sunny but windy! Love it. Looking forward to the march with Zazoo.

As they finished dining, I have to shuffle them around so...to make my life easier. I put ililiSit! on the deck and prepared to saddled up the big guy. He barked frantically as he peered through the front glass door. It was the "get the hell off my property" bark. So I took a look and saw the back half of a big yellow dog in the hedges surrounding the stairs. It took a second but...it was f ing ilili! She escaped. The first time in Premium Point, I thought. I put Zaz on the deck where i knew the table barricade was in place so he couldnt get down the stairs and grabbed her leash and the iPhone. I didn't have that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. Priceless. I knew I'd get her back safe and sound. She came to me straightaway but slipped through my hands! Tricky girl. She had a romp through the neighbour's properties, of which I had the opportunity to see close ups of their homes as I watched ililiScamper not sit, through the properties at this early morning, Saturday morning hour.

We are not very far from a main road this time so that's the primary reason for the gps purchase. I saddled her two houses away as she peered into their glassdoor and we returned home. The gps system didn't even activate coz we were so close to our house. Easy peasy.

The confidence I had in knowing she had the locator affixed to her collar made me not stress and catch her in a more relaxed way. God, life is good when I take precautions. Priceless.

And how did she get out? I walked the grounds and saw that a big trash bin that sits outside the wrought iron gate was blown by the wind into said heavy gate which opened enough for her to scamper. Ahh, the wind that I love. Tricky.

The items are from tagg.com. Cost for both and charger is 200 USD. Monthly gps fee is under 10 USD. Live stream tracking comes up on a map on any smart phone. SMS and emails sent as well. http://www.pettracker.com/

ilili is taking more than the spotlight away from Zazoo or...

..."Mommy, Mommy, look what I have!"

I just told Dominic two days ago that my kids have been good. Zaz hasn't killed anything in ages. And I felt like I wanted to suck it back in after I said it.

We had just done our dinner walk and I let him off the leash in the garden, noticing no critters on the ground. I went in to get mini-monkey and as we came through the door Zazoo was sitting in an odd place for him. I noticed something grey between his legs. Another friend of Bullwinkles. Dammit.

I dropped ilili's leash and went to the barn for a shovel. I know the drill. Zaz was throwing Rockie in the air and apparently she caught it for she raced around the garden with Rockie in her little mouth and Zazoo at her heels.

She wouldn't drop him so I turned on the faucet and grabbed the hose. Worked like a charm; she dropped it and I washed her down. I tied her to the picket fence so she couldn't get Rockie and I disposed of the poor creature.

Upstairs I had no mercy for her while I used the hair dryer without diffuser to dry her expediently. I didn't want her to catch her death. But let's see if she gets worms.

Oh, a mama's work is never done.

Rabid forest animals attacking domestic pets or...

...are Mr. Zazoo and miss ilili safe in these here burbs?

Damn, child, I'm so glad when Zaz had the ah, altercation with the skunks, the trapper told me to get him to the good Dr. Vierra for a rabies booster.

I didn't actually see if Zaz pounced on them or they came up behind him and attacked him! Mercy.

Here's the story so please read if you're in the 'burbs. http://larchmont.patch.com/articles/westchester-county-health-department-issues-rabies-alert

Jumpin'Jahosephats or...

...don't EVER say to the Jewel, or anyone, "I don't have any material."  A few hours after my prolific statement, the little rascals were at it again.

The Jewel and I were about five hours into a photo shoot yesterday. The weather has been nice so I let Mr. Zaz into the garden.  I must say, he's been a peach lately and ilili has been the trouble maker. I didn't check on him for at least an hour. Actually, I was totally immersed in my work. Then it dawned on me to glance out the den windows. Well, no Zazoo. Ok, sometimes he's hidden. I went to another window, then another.

Boots came off, slippers on and I told the Jewel to "man the engines," which means to start the car and I ran through the garden just to be sure he wasn't hiding. I wasn't in panic mode yet as I called his name. There wasn't a breach in the fence. WTF? I looked up and saw an exhausted Zazoo, with his head down and tongue drooping low in the neighbors yard. Son of a bitch.

I told Al to kill the engines and we jumped over the brick wall with a bottle of water, a plastic container to quench his thirst and treats in case I had to bribe him. Poor Zazoo came right to us and lapped up copious amounts of water as I pulled twigs, rose bush branches and Larchmont tree pods out out of his dense fur.

Poor Zazoo must have sprinted over the wall in pursue of his dinner but didn't dine. His beard was clean and he was exhausted. He obviously didn't find the breakout point to exit their property and the front gates were locked. Hah, hah, hah, Mr. Smarty!  And my good fortune so I didn't have to drive through the posh streets calling for him.

Just like it was planned, the wild goose chaser drove through the gate. I explained why we were there so he wouldn't call 5-0. I saddled up Joseph, Sweet Lucile's nickname for Zazoo. I wanted to name him Al Joharah, which means jewel of the Nile, but in the current world climate and the fact that I usually live in predominately Jewish neighbourhoods, she calls him Jo. Yelling out an Arabic name will simply bring more attention to my wacky family that I definitely don't want or need.

So we marched through their property past the pool and overlook to Long Island Sound and marched through the Day School to slip through the gate that will give us entrance to our road instead of marching through the whole 28 acres. It was really nice to be on both huge properties. I secretly promised Zaz that we will live on a piece of land like this someday.

Well, poor Zazoo was exhausted so I let him rest at least a half hour after his drink before I fed him and marched him. The chances for a bloat attack are greatly diminished following this rule. I was exhausted too, but we went out for dinner.

Sal's Pizza, Mamaroneck Ave. Mamaroneck. NY.

Zazoo barked incessantly as I turned the key upon our return. I shouted over him, "it's Mommy, Zazoo," but he wouldn't pipe down. I also heard a soft scratch at the door. He only does that when he wants to come in. Strange. As I pushed the door open slowly, I saw a little golden ball who tried to squirm out. Son of a bitch! How the heck did she get out of her cage?

I immediately went into panic mode. I didn't puppy-proof the house but I did pick up after myself even though I couldn't see straight. I pushed wiggle bunny back into her home and assessed the damage. One pair of rubber thongs chewed...that's it. She piddled on the wee-wee pads that I left for Zazoo and one pile of poopie, not on the paper. God or Mother Nature or the ghosts of my Nanas sure watched over me!

What a day! The photo shoot was fun and productive and the drama, all in all, quite minimal. Best case scenario for a little rascal "drive Mommy crazy day." Now there's a fastener clip on her door.  Did she jiggle the door open or did Zazoo?  I'll never know.

When he's a good boy...

Two points if you can find his head.  Dom, my Father, calls him a bum.  Now, I can see why.  Couch Afghan?

What a fucking day...Ne lanet bir gün ...

that I wouldn't wish on anyone.

It started off good, if I think good is losing 5 20 dollar bills, then finding them. I might think it was good when Zazoo & I returned from our morning walk to see gardeners cutting the lawn. I didn't hire them; the neighbor who lives in the 7.5 million dollar house with beach AND bulkhead sent them coz I bet he didn't like looking at the high grass as he passed.

Then I drove around with Lucy R. in the BLKHAWK, God love her, we did errands and had lunch.

Dinner for Zazoo then we marched again. As I exited the property, I saw some brownish spots on the lawn. I went to investigate which I thought were accumulated bits of mowed grass that had clumped up & dried. As we got very close, Zazoo lunged and I realized they were baby bunnies. Dear God. The fucking gardeners ran over a bunny home and some were sliced in half and others just lay in the grass. I think they must have died of shock.

Tiny, tiny babies that must have been 2 days old. Poor things didn't have a shot. As we walked away I saw another patch of brown. Now I was fuming. We went closer and the same thing: dead baby bunnies scattered in the mowed grass. Big deal I had a manicured lawn...but at this price?

Alright, so I pulled it together and marched. I couldn't fight back the tears & I thought how fucking smug of this pompous rich asshole next door to send his gardeners, the owner of the landscaping company whom I couldn't get on the phone this morning & who didn't return my call. Who does this guy think he is? The big deal on the block with his multiple motorcycles, none of which I would ride, hi-end posh luxury sedans, chauffeur, maids, goose chasers etc. Little does he know that I know he did time in a federal pen for embezzling. So he can act whatever way he wants in front of me coz I know the truth. (2 reliable sources)

We marched down Pirate Cove & I saw a lady as she got out of her massive SUV and was greeted by the maid who exited from the garage followed by a big dirty white, close-cropped poodle. This thing barked at us. We kept walking and this fucking dog came running at us & tried to take a bite out of Zazoo. I let go of the leash so he could have a fair fight. My poor child never had a fight so he didn't know what to do, he just ran away with this other fucker snapping at him and I didn't know if he got him or just fur.

I started to run behind them & the broad started to run behind me and said,"I'll get the car," and ran back. I kicked off my slippers and ran behind them & I lost sight of them. They were approaching the main busy road. I was in a panic. I called Lucile with speed dial as I'm running & yelling & crying & told her, "Get down here, Zazoo has been attacked!" Then I see this nasty, shitty poodle running toward me, but no Zazoo. I told him he was an asshole and to go back to his cunt mother who didn't even drive up the road to see what happened.

As I turned the bend I saw 3 or 4 cars stopped in the road. Not long enough for me to come to a conclusion then I saw Zazoo standing next to a Range Rover SUV and a woman and a little boy hanging out of the moon roof talking to him. Than GOD! I thanked her for stopping traffic, called his name & he came right to me. God bless this poor child. I went over him quickly to see if he was injured and didn't feel anything unusual. We both calmed down & resumed our walk toward home as I got Lucile back on the phone & told her he was with me & ok.

"Call the police," was her comment but I didn't want to get them involved. They'd have me write up a report, blah blah blah which I was in no mood to do. Lucile insists the police are at our beck and call. She used to call them when we were at the train station in the middle of the night & she wouldn't drive down to get us. "Pick up my girls," and they did. Took us all the way home. "Our taxes pay your salaries," was her comment when they were belligerent.

So...Zazoo and I entered the enclosed lawn area, I went over Zazoo again and gave him fresh water & a new liver treat. This poor little boy. How traumatizing this must have been for him.

Then I had to take care of the bunny situation. I didn't want the birds attacking them. I shoveled a bucket of earth and went to cover up the poor little bunnies. I cried again as tears rolled off my face and snot ran out of my nose as I covered them. How senseless. There were 11 babies.

I'm buying goats to take care of the lawn. The payoff: goat cheese & yogurt! And friends for Zazoo.




Ne lanet bir gün ... Ben kimseye isteyen olmaz.

Ben 5 20 dolarlarına kaybediyor iyi düşünmek eğer bularak sonra, kapalı iyi başladı. Ben Zazoo & ben sabahtan çim kesme bahçıvanlar görmek için yürüyüş döndüğünde iyiydi düşünebilirsiniz. Ben onları işe yoktu; onları ben o geçerken yüksek çim bakarak sevmedim bahis coz gönderilen plaj ve perde ile 7.5 milyon dolarlık evde yaşıyor komşu.

Sonra BLKHAWK Lucy R. etrafında sürdü, Tanrı errands yaptı ve öğle yemeği vardı, onu seviyorum.

Zazoo için akşam yemeği ardından tekrar yürüdü. Ben mülkiyet çıktıktan olarak, çim üzerinde bazı kahverengi lekeler gördüm. Ben toplanmıştı ve kurutulmuş kesilmiş çim parçaları birikmiş hangi düşündüm araştırmak için gittim. biz çok yakın var gibi, Zazoo lunged ve ben bebek bunnies fark ettim. Sevgili Tanrım. Lanet bahçıvanlar ve bir tavşan ev yanına koştu bazı yarısında dilimlenmiş ve diğerleri sadece çim yatıyordu. Onların şok ölmüş olmalıyım düşünüyorum.

Küçük, 2 gün eski olması gerekir minik bebekler. Kötü şeylerin bir çekim yoktu. Başımızdan yürürken ben kahverengi başka bir yama gördüm. Şimdi dumanlı oldu. Biz ve kasabalar aynı şey: mowed çim dağınık ölü bebek bunnies. Büyük anlaşma bir manikürlü çim vardı ... ama bu fiyata?

Tamam, bu yüzden bir araya çekti ve yürüdü. Gözyaşlarıyla savaşamadı ve ben bu görkemli zengin pislik yanında onun bahçıvanlar göndermek için kendini beğenmiş kahrolası nasıl düşünce, bu sabah telefonda alamadım & dönmedi peyzaj şirketinin sahibi benim diyoruz. Kim bu adam o olduğunu sanıyor? onun çok motosiklet, hangi ben biniyorum hiçbiri, hi-end lüks lüks otomobilleri, şoför, hizmetçi vb Biraz o ben onun zimmetine geçirdiği için federal bir kalem zaman biliyorum ki biliyor kaz vidaları ile blok üzerinde büyük bir anlaşma. Bu yüzden o ben gerçeği biliyorum coz önümde istiyor ne şekilde olursa olsun hareket edebilir. (2 güvenilir kaynaklar)

Biz o ve onun büyük SUV çıktığı gibi büyük bir kirli beyaz, kısa kesilmiş kaniş ardından garaj çıktıktan hizmetçi tarafından karşılandı Bir hanım gördüm Pirate Cove & aşağı yürüdü. Bu şeyi bize havladı. Biz ve yürümeye devam etti bu kahrolası köpek bize & Zazoo bir ısırık almaya çalıştı de koşarak geldi. Ben onun adil bir mücadele olabilir böylece tasma gidelim. o ne yapacağını bilmiyordu bu yüzden Zavallı çocuk bir kavga olmadı, o sadece onu ısırmak için bu diğer fucker götürdü ve ona ya da sadece kürk var eğer ben bilmiyordum.

Arkamda koşmaya başladı onlara ve geniş arkasında koşmaya başladı ve dedi ki, "Ben araba alırsınız" ve geri koştu. Ben terlik başladı ve onları gözden kaybettim onları & I arkasında koştu. Onlar ana meşgul yol yaklaşıyorlardı. Ben bir panik içindeydi. Ben koşuyorum & bağırıyor ve ağlıyordu & söyledim onun gibi "buraya al, Zazoo saldırısına uğramış!" Hızlı arama ile Lucile denir O zaman bu iğrenç, boktan kaniş bana doğru koşuyor, ama hiçbir Zazoo bakın. Ben onun bir pislik olarak geri bile ne olduğunu görmek için yolun gitmediği onun önünü annesi gitmek için söyledim.

Ben viraj dönerken ben yolda durdu 3 veya 4 araba gördüm. Yeterince uzun bana bir sonuca için sonra Zazoo bir Range Rover SUV ve bir kadın ve onunla konuşmaya ayın çatı dışarı sarkan küçük bir çocuk yanındaki ayakta gördüm. ALLAH ederiz! Ben, trafik durma için ona teşekkür ismini ve bana doğru geldi çağırdı. Tanrı bu zavallı çocuğun korusun. Onun ve yaralı olup olmadığını bir şey alışılmadık duymadığını görmek için hızlı bir şekilde ona gitti. Ikimiz de sakinleşti ve ben telefonu geri Lucile var gibi ve ona eve doğru yürüdük tekrar bana ve ok ile oldu.

"Polis çağırın" ona yorum oldu ama onları yer almak istemiyordu. Bana bir rapor yazmak benim için hiç bir ruh hali vardı, falan filan olurdu. Lucile polis bizim beck ve çağır olduğunda ısrar ediyor. biz gece ve ortasında tren istasyonunda edildiğinde O bizi almak için aşağı çekmek olmaz onları aramak için kullanılır. "Benim kız Pick up" ve yaptılar. her eve bizi çıkardım. onlar kavgacı edildiğinde "Bizim vergi sizin maaş ödemek," onu yorumdu.

So ... Zazoo ve ben kapalı çim alanı girdi, tekrar Zazoo üzerine çıktım ve onu temiz su ve yeni bir karaciğer tedavisinde verdi. Bu zavallı küçük çocuk. Bu onun için olmalı travmatik nasıl.

Sonra ben tavşan durum bakmak zorunda kaldı. Ben onlara saldıran kuşlar istemiyordu. Ben yeryüzünde bir kova kürekledim ve zavallı küçük bunnies örtbas etmeye gitti. gözyaşları yüzüme kapalı haddelenmiş ve ben onları örttüğü gibi sümük burnumu dışarı koştu yine ağladım. Nasıl anlamsız. 11 bebek dünyaya geldi.

Ben çim manikür için keçi satın alıyorum. Ödeme: keçi peyniri ve yoğurt! Ve Zazoo için arkadaşlar.